Pain in My heart

Jailed By The Memories Of You!

I'm jailed by the memories of you. When I've chose to go on my own direction and move on, i thought I'd be freed of you. I thought when i decided to take the road moving away from you, will help me forget about you and one day be freed by your memories. But how come after all this time, you're still on my mind every single day. Memories of you may not be as intense as it used to be, but still i haven't forgotten about you. Memories of you still lingers in me, affects me as if things between us only happened yesterday. Even though i no longer have the urge that i need you and i no longer hope and wishes for us to be together again someday but still, --- you're always running through my mind uncontrollably. Lots of moments, suddenly something out of nowhere reminds me of you. My memories of you never vague at all either. How could i ever forget about you? Would i be jailed by the memories of you 'til my last breath? Is being jailed by your memories my choice, unconsciously? I hope not... Because i really don't want to be jailed by your memories in me for the rest of my life. You made a choice, and so i made a choice as well. You chose to give up us, and not too long after that you also gave up including our friendship and tossed me out and made a clear point you don't care about me anymore... And so that very instance, I've chosen to let go of you and swear to myself that i will forget everything about you, permanently...

*Note: Also posted this on my blogstream account. Uhmm... I wrote this more than a month ago, i think. But didn't post it on here only 'til tonight... Because recently when you tried to be friends with me again, you've proven to me ones more that you still have your ways in me... You got me talking to you again and made me break my own promised to you "That you'll never hear anything from me again. I thought I'm already freed and no longer gets affected by you. But you proved me wrong 'cause in spite of everything that happened between us, i still care what you'd think of me. What's worst is i think I'm still in-love with you. I've never stopped loving you, but i just stopped needing you in my life... Because the feelings i still have for you now, is what reminds me of the hurt you've caused in me then. The love i still feels for you is what makes me remember how you treated me then... Most of all this love is what jailed me by your memories in me...